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MS Awareness Month 2021, Day 2


                                    Asking for Assistance

Good morning, Warriors! Ready to race through the ABC's for Good mental and emotional health?

Today's message is not a popular one for those of us who refuse to ask for help unless it is unavoidable. Asking for assistance is not in my comfort zone. My track record of depending on others is not stellar. Are my expectations too high? Do I not articulate my needs clearly? Is my support group below par? Am I not worthy of needed attention? 


Never doubt your self-worth. It takes more strength to ask for help than it does to remain silent. When you feel helpless it is important to remember that friends and family can relate to that. How can they actively be there for you if you don't let them in? 

Don't make it an isolated request either. Check-in with them. You can maintain your independence while reaping the benefits of a solid support system. 

You're not buying it, are you? I make it sound too simple. I haven't sold you.

You're right. I'm doubting my own words. 

One thing I've learned about asking for assistance is that you need to be sneaky, just like the disease that has put you in the position to request help. 

I sincerely believe that people truly want to help but often have no idea how. So, let's play a game and make them feel like it's their idea to serve as a personal team member. Give them something in return.

No, you're not buying their loyalty. You're rewarding them with a feeling of self-worth. (Oh, and gift them a copy of my book I Have MS. What's Your Super Power? In fact, order directly from me and get two copies for the price of one!)

I know your plate is full and no one needs the added pressure of coddling everyone else, but trust me. They will be glad if they know what you need.

Maybe it's a ride to the grocery or to an appointment. Or maybe it's just a ride for the sake of getting out of the house.

Maybe it's a small request of getting the dishes washed once or twice a week.

Phrase your request for assistance in a positive manner: "Let's go to the mall today!" 

"My church is having a family event Thursday night. Wanna go?"

"It looks like Walmart is having a BOGO on everything. I'll give you my list and you can get all our shopping done!"

"Hey, you drive right by the post office on the way home from work, don't you? Will you drop off this package for me?"

Yes, I'm starting to ramble and only making the situation worse, which we will cover later this month. The point is: Don't afraid to ask for help. 

Of course, living the rule of treating others the way you would like to be treated doesn't hurt. If you make other a priority, the action will be reciprocated. Dr. Kaplin urges us to "be mindful of the need to check in with your support system and be proactive."

Have a wonderful day. It's cold and windy here in North-CentralWest Virginia this morning, but the sun is shining and my yard is full of Crocuses.

What are you going to do today?

Lisa, Lady with the Cane



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