What would you say if I told you I think it’s time to kick you to the curb? You are no longer welcome in my life. You need to leave me alone, find a new host, because I am simply tired of your existence. You’ve become a parasite. You live off my pain. You zap my strength and interrupt my day. Simple tasks require abnormal amounts of time to complete the most simplistic chores.
Because of you I am constantly dropping things; spilling and spending extra time cleaning up unnecessary messes. I want to get through a day without exerting energy that could and should be better spent on production.
You make me late for engagements. Your greed robs me of a social life and imprisons me when others are out and about. And, as you know, invitations cease after multiple refusals. No one wants to hang out with a party poop-er with a cane.
Crowded venues are frustrating. No matter how hard I try to make myself “small”, it is difficult to hide from critical eyes. Whether it is my cane, my drunken walking gait, the AFO on my right leg, or the fact that I am honestly in the way, large groups of people are not my friend. Even small gatherings are uncomfortable. Probably even more so; Intimate gatherings invite conversation and unwanted questions. Believe it or not, I do not want to speak to my condition. Few understand anyway.
Steps are not an option for more than one reason. In my case, foot drop makes steps impossible, dangerous, exhausting, and just not worth the effort. Wheelchairs, walkers and most afo’s are not compatible with flights of stairs. I don’t think I need to spend any more time addressing this obvious issue, but it’s all thanks to you, dear MonSter.
You annoy me. I hate you. You need to go away.
I was recently diagnosed when I got this book. It really helped me to accept the possibilities of my “new” normal. It was refreshing to read about someone that wasn’t trying to sell me a snake oil cure, and just telling the story of her own life and the changes in it due to “the monster.” Excellent read. Definite thumbs up.
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