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A person with MS walks into a bar...

                       No photo description available.

,,,especially when looking for a restroom.

Once the initial reaction(s) of being diagnosed with MS is over, we Warriors are left to fend for ourselves...forever. If you're not living with the disease, it is no longer personal to many of those around you.

While we are busy arranging our lives around our new companion, the MonSter, loved ones seem to melt back into a daily routine that does not include being ever mindful of furniture arrangement, allowances for extra time to prepare for events, medication schedules, nd bathroom locations.

Bathrooms...the very topic on my mind

We all know that knowing the exact location of public facilities is paramount to a Warrior's existence. Every second counts when thinking about visiting the loo...every second. You know what I mean.

Because I am not and never will be of the male species,  I am addressing the female species when I write this. Every. Second. Counts.

The urge hits out of no where. "Didn't I just go? It's got to be a false alarm."

I stumble to the bathroom, furiously unbuttoning my pants and begging myself first silently and then with growing intensity as if my bladder is listening. Just one more step...trousers down to my knees...I'm gonna make it...But the toilet seat is up... the curse of living in a predominately male household.

In the second it takes to close the lid all hope is lost. The gate is open and the flood unleashed.

Of  course this incident does not just require an immediate clean up of the floor and any rugs or articles near the site, but I am now a mess as well. My pants, my underwear, socks, shoes, and (in my case) my AFO...soaked. 

Have you ever tried to remove a pair of trousers when wearing an AFO? It is not a simple task. The shoes must be removed first. Remove any support straps,and then socks while trying to peal your soiled leggings off your body. It is not a quick job. Nor a pleasant one...and that's just what you do when this happens at home. I'll let you imagine a public pee event...

Knowledge of bathroom location is crucial in the life of a Warrior.

And toilet lid placement is essential. So if you a guy living with a female MS Superwoman, please be sweet and lower the seat. It is not a guarantee that you have save your lady friend immense humiliation, it certainly helps.

When I was much younger I told myself that I would never succumb to elastic waistbands as a fashion mainstay...amazing how our perspectives change. It makes bathroom emergencies somewhat better and, fortunately, fashion able "leggings"  and elastic waist ed trousers seem to be making a splash on the domestic run-way. I even found nice lower body apparel at LL Bean! Unfortunately, the Bean doesn't offer Walmart prices, so I'll save up until I can afford at least one pair...

I could, and probably will (at another time), write pages upon pages about my personal war with bathroom issues, but for now I need to attend to a few more pertinent Monday morning chores. The bathroom owns too much of my daily  thoughts already; but, I'm sure you'l hear more on the subject at a later date. Right ow I have a date with an unfinished manuscript.

Have a great week,
Lisa, The Lady With the Cane


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