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Letters o the Monster: disability woes

Related image Certain that I am preaching to the choir, I am pissed that said choir is the very cause of my angst.

I am pretty certain that several of you have filed for and (hopefully)  received disability due to the MonSter. This is something that I never really thought of as a possibility for me. Up until three years ago I worked every day of the week, participated in community functions, attended exercise class and even did my share of volunteering. 

When I decided to take an early-type of retirement it was not an easy decision nor did I have adequate funds with which to retire in style. Frugality was and is most important. It never crossed my mind that retirement was a representation of  girl weekends in exotic locations, spur of the moment vacations,  fun expenditures "just cause", or lavish shopping excursions.  There would be no mid-life Maserati or time share in my later life future.  But I did hope to take it a little easy. 


Multiple Sclerosis does not afford any sort of break.

Medical bills composed of prescriptions, physical therapy,  orthopedics and special shoes, healthy supplements and foods began eating up my abbreviated income very shortly after cleaning out my desk drawer. My family insurance is all on me and retirees don't rank very high in the health care chain. Never did I realize the expense of raising a high school-er, but I learned very quickly that the next four years was NOT going to be cheap.

So, when a request for my consideration came in the mail, I jumped on the SS Disability wagon. I've always loved filling out forms and taking quizzes so the written portion of the application was really kind of fun. Redundant in parts, but entertaining.

My completed April, 2018 application is a master piece. I was cautioned at the time that this is a long and discouraging process. Not all disabilities are viewed as viable. 

I have learned that patience is a necessary element of living with MS, even if it is not one of my strong points. But, I decided that I had nothing else to do with my time, so why not apply?

And wait...

 and wait...

and wait...

June 2015 I reluctantly retired from public school teaching. The possibility of substituting for added income was deemed impossible for the very reason I retired. My ability to physically function is sporadic and unpredictable. My urgent need for immediate access to the restroom is inexplicable. Colleagues assured me in the past that if I needed relief that they were only a classroom call away. I appreciate that. But they  truly do NOT understand that the time it takes to make requested call does not exist. 

When the urge strikes it is already too late. 

Now that I am retired, I often long for the routine of a job, but those aforementioned complaints exist in an even more urgent way. Are there meds to offset the MonSter's  fixation? Sure, but where in my already packed budget will that come from? Just in the past several months, my prescriptions have doubled; I have acquired an orhodic device I cannot pay off nor can I wear (because I cannot afford the shoes needed to accommodate the girth); my PT funds have diminished and left me with no affordable way to continue exercising; and I am just plain disgusted with my concept of public disability in general.

I remember when  former neighbor of mine received his hefty disability reward. Deemed unfit to hold a job, this fellow took  his funds to purchase multiple expensive "toys" that then were confiscated by bill collectors when the bills were not paid. 

I do not want that. I just want to be able to meet my responsibilities and not feel guilty about picking up an extra jug of milk at the grocer. 

  With disability assistance, I wouldn't need to worry about such small needs. Right?

So, why, when I finally hear from the agency m I told that I certainly qualify for medical disability, but the verdict is still out on the non-medical ability to hold a job.


So, I am being penalized because I can read, write, and still maintain my senses?

Not fair, not fair...

So, I continue to wait and ignore those mounting bills.

Have a good week,


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