I am excited yet concerned at the speed at which my application process for disability is moving along. Not enough good can be said about the dedication shown by the individuals who are working my case: Professional to the core and seemingly sincere.
I just hope that I am not being set up for disappointment. Never having been one to move forward with pal extended, I initially fought the idea of disability funding. then I was and am constantly reminded that I have personally added to the funding of this project for over thirty-three years. So I suppose I am just asking to be reimbursed?
This process has heightened my awareness of the funding required to own an illness. Living with Multiple Sclerosis, or any chronic illness is expensive. In a discussion with my brother over the weekend, I realized just how much the MonSter owns me. Insurance isn't getting it done, especially with treatment additions that are not recognized as medical necessities. If I was allowed to prescribe my own treatment plan, it would look something like this:
*Monthly massages to loosen the limbs and encourage blood flow to underused portions of my legs.
*Discounted gym fees to allow for the recommended swimming, yoga, cycling, and all-round physical well-being we all need.
*A better opportunity for chiropractic visits to straighten my pretzel-led body. (It is that way because I cannot afford the above mentioned/proven maintenance.)
With insurance cooperation on these points, I KNOW my health would improve dramatically. How do I know this? I live with MS. It is my body under attack.
I do the best I can to be motivated in the privacy of my own home, but not being accountable is a sure-fire buzz killer. After years of treating my video gurus, weight lifters, yogis, and drill sergeants as my equal, the gig is up. My videos are wearing out, the exercises are becoming flat, and I am no longer interested in listening to the Wii commendations of elementary memes.
So, yes, I might get a little selfish with an additional monthly check. I really would join a local gym. With daily exercise, I doubt those massages and chiropractic visits would be as important over time. The veil of periodic depression would lift with improved physical mobility. I would smile more often. My son and husband would like being around me. I would fall less. I might even stop avoiding people and social events. I would regain some confidence.
I would start being HUMAN again.
But, I refuse to get too excited. Being awarded disability is kin to winning the lottery and that just doesn't happen to ordinary folk like me.
So, while I await that final decision, my personal vendetta against the MonSter will continue. I am always interested in alternative treatments so when I found an article claiming that over the counter cough syrup is possibly the new cure, I had to read it.
Dr. Wenbin Deng, a neuroscience professor at the University of California-Davis School of Medicine gave dextromethorphan (the active ingredient in cough syrup) to mice with lab induced MS. Deng discovered that dextromethorphan actually protected the nerve cells from further damage in the test mice, dramatically reducing paralysis that causes MS exacerbation.
I am in no way condoning the use of cough syrup as a viable treatment, but this is another example of the desperation we Warriors feel in our battle. And, who knows, maybe one day in our need to try just about anything to feel better, one of us will stumble across THE cure. I am and have been convinced that we Warriors know more about our disease than any certified medical professional.
Until our cure is offered, though, I remain on the track of trying anything; to include the humiliation of applying for disability. We gotta do what we gotta do, ladies.
I read today that "a strong woman will automatically stop trying if she feels unwanted. She won't fix it or beg, she'll just walk away." In regard to manner things I agree with this sentiment. That PRIDE thing is strong. MS is about survival, though; so bring it on! No, I will not beg but I don't suppose jumping through a few hoops is a sin if the end result is a more financially stable existence.
MS is an expensive disease.
Talk to you soon,
Lisa, The Lady with the Cane